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Social Media Pet Peeves! #annoyed

Updated: Oct 23, 2017

My 5 Problems (PET PEEVES) with Social Media:

Let the RANTING begin…

1. Social Media has Ruined My Crushes

We all had that one crush in high school or in college... They never knew you existed but secretly you would stalk the hallways just to catch a glimpse. You weren’t bold enough to ever say anything to him because um…. you weren’t fast. Only fast girls walked up to their crushes and had actually conversations. Nope, you would watch your crush from afar and when they looked up you would pretend that you were reading a book oblivious to their existence. Those crushes were the best. And every once in a while, you remember that cute guy in your algebra class or the one who you had communication 102 with and you smile. At least that is what use to happen before the doom of Social Media. Now that same crush, the one who you thought was a beautiful creature chiseled and shaped by God with the perfect smile and the intense eyes…. NOW, thanks to social media he is now a “what the in the world was I thinking”. He is now three times divorced with 7 kids, old man weight, and a receding hairline. He is in between gigs and trying to be a 40-year old rapper new on the scene. He is also annoying and you question how he even graduated as all his post are misspelled and the “grammar Nazis” cringe every time he presses post. And just to make it worse he now constantly in your DM trying to "holla" at you and commenting on every picture you have stating, “He used to have a crush on you and begging you to meet up one day soon.” (insert throw up face here)

Social Media has ruined the childlike school crushes by presenting us with reality of modern day adults who have let themselves go. Every day I am faced with the reality that I have no taste in men and my adolescent self was an idiot for spending so much time writing my crushes name in my journal over and over. Can we go back to the days when crushes stayed crushes? When Andrew Johnson from Freshman year never got old and you still got butterflies when you thought of him years later. Let’s go back to the butterflies… because the reality of the present is making us all extremely nauseous. 

2. Social Media makes me remember fatty moments from my past

Let’s just take a moment to talk specifically about Social Media and its new companion Memories. While some of my post from past years are hilarious and inspiring. There is a dark side that makes me cringe every time I get the Facebook Notification: You have Memories from this day. Argggghhh! I never know what I am going to run into that day. Lately, I have been hit with the fact that I was truly a fatty in 2013. I ate so much. I posted every food. Every cake. And every delicious meal with hashtags like #foodie. Foodie?! I should have been writing #fatty after ever post because my love for food was real. Here I am sweating it out in the gym -- present day -- and then I scroll through my memories and am hit with a chocolate Ghirardelli cake I made two years ago. I then question my sanity. I remember how happy and full I was back then. I wipe sweat from my brow barely able to move my arms because yesterday was arm day and for some reason I am convincing myself that the gym is my happy place even when I know the truth. The truth is two years ago I was truly happy and there was cake involved. Thanks, a lot Facebook memories for the reminder that I am brain washing myself with treadmill goals instead of cookie cake and pizza goals.

3. Social Media makes me remember how old I am! 

What the hell is the “Nay Nay” and who is “Quan”? And wait there is a new running man but it’s not the old running man just a different version of it. Why Social Media?! Why do you make me feel this way?

I was once a youngster. I am 30ish (that's the answer you will get for the rest of my life BTW) and social media has me feeling 65 with all these new phrases. Oh and the new trendy threads that appear on my timelines… articles and post like “The 90s were the best” or “Do you remember this candy from your childhood?”

Then, thanks to Social Media it is now even easier to connect with your Alma mater so I am constantly reminded that my 15-year Reunion is coming up and it’s been 13 years, 26 day, 6 hours, and 27 minutes since graduation day. I can’t type any more about this topic as its depressing and my arthritis is starting to affect my typing hand. #elderly

#SMH -- > by the way that means "Shaking my head" I had to google it because I am not hip to the new fresh vernacular.

4. Social Media is Inundated with ugly people who think they aren’t ugly.

Can I just tell the truth for a minute? Please for the love of everyone… PLEASE BACK UP FROM THE CAMERA!!!!!!

If you aren’t the prettiest thing in the world, please hold the camera away from your face! I do not need to see all that ugly up close. It hurts and it disrespectful to my eyes. Yes I said it!

Most of you are too nice to say it but the truth is Social Media has made a lot of people comfortable when they shouldn’t be. Everyone isn’t attractive. It’s just the truth. Most of us are decent and have great days. Others are decent and have bad days. But why does it seem that people are okay with posting pictures of themselves on social media on their bad days!!!!??? Please. Don’t. Having a bad day? Pimple explodes on your face today? That’s okay. JUST. DON’T. SHOW. US. Turn the camera off of selfie mode and take a picture of something else. Or at least appease me a little and just pull the camera as far as possible from your face so we don’t have to be all up in there and staring at your pores. Put a girdle on. Brush your hair. Wash your face. And then possibly it will be okay for you to post a selfie on Social Media. And lastly, if your friends are just as ugly as you please don’t take pictures with them and post hashtags like #squadgoals. That is no one’s goal. Please delete the post and re-evaluate your entire existence. 

5. Social Media tells all -- exposing the truly “unintelligent”

Now, this rant isn’t for the people who are just plain stupid. This is for the ones boasting about how smart and intelligent they are when they actually… Aren’t. 

I have people with “Doctorates” or going for a Masters or PHDs and they have to be the most unintelligent people on my timeline. One thing that makes you stupid in my eyes on social media is when you post irrespective of the source or the facts. Are you moronic? Did you even read the article you are posting? Did you really think was a credible source?

I have held people at some high standards and Social Media has slowly made me lower the bar on their intelligence. Oh, and my favorite (dripping with sarcasm) is when people use social media to ask questions about something Google could answer. How do I know my cake is done? When is the time change? How do I block people on my Facebook? Even Siri and her moronic self could help if asked. #teamandroid

But, no, instead, degree toting people are asking social media simple questions that can be easily answered by google. I am quite sure to get your degree you had to do a research paper! Why have you forgot how to look up stuff yourself?! Why are you wasting my time with your unintelligent questions and babbling? I am going to end this rant here because my eye is starting to twitch thinking of examples that I can’t share because I know one of my “intelligent” followers/friends may read this if I ever publish this article. So, I will leave it be and leave them with their naivety…

Okay. Rant over. I can breathe now. Don't know about you but I feel so much better. #overandout

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